For part 3 I want to bring to light two subjects of which one I struggle with immensely. First is honesty and second is trust, and they both go hand in hand with one another. Honesty has always been super easy for me. I value honesty so I carry it through all my aspects of life. Trust has been a struggle for me due to being hurt in the past and I have to consistently work hard to trust in my life. So why are these so important to a relationship?
When we partake into a relationship we rely on trusting them, and we also want them to be honest with us. If they say they can’t go to a movie because they have to work late, we trust in our being that they are working late and being honest with us. The second you find out they lied to you and they were really at Joe’s pub with the guys, doubt sets in and the next time you won’t be so quick to believe you are being honest with me and I’m going to trust you a little less.
The majority of us have all heard the story of the little boy who cried wolf. After many repeated times of lying and saying there was a wolf when there wasn’t one, he found himself in danger when a wolf finally did show up and no one would come because of his lies. He wasn’t honest and in turn they lost trust in him. This is the same scenario that can happen in any of our relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but family relationships, friend relationships and even work relationships. We have to ensure that honesty is put in play in all of these and as we do that trust begins to build. You take away one from the other and we end up with a jenga tower that could fall apart at any time.
My trust issues aside, taking time to think through things and trust my spouse are a priority. I have to trust him or we would never make it. We both work full time jobs apart from each other. So at a minimum through the week that is 8 hours a day that we don’t see each other. In addition to that we also have extra activities that we do apart. So for sale of argument I would say we actually only see each other 4-5 hours a day. So that means I have to trust that the other 15-20 he is being faithful and doing what he told me he was doing, and he has to do the same in regards to me. All it would take is one time of lying to one another and we begin to start to doubt those 15-20 hours and what they are really doing. So for us it’s simple….don’t lie to each other so we trust each other.
Unfortunately we live in a society that it is all too easy to plant the seed of doubt and mistrust that lead to not being honesty. We choose to listen to social media and other people over the one person we should be listening to. We live in a time that everyone’s eyes and noses seem to be in everyone else’s business. So if your not upfront and honest things can be turned in a bad way very quickly. This is one of the many reasons that my husband and I allow each other access to our social media accounts and even our phones. We know each other’s passwords because we have nothing to hide. If we see something we want to know about we ask simple as that.
Trust is something you have to work on constantly and I’m not saying you should trust everyone and everything, you just have to be objective and think things through. If you haven’t noticed all these things I find as important in relationships is hard work and challenging. Just remember that anything worth having doesn’t necessarily come easy. And relationships are far from easy. So do yourself a favor and be honest and with that honesty will come trust. Without either you are guaranteed to fail in time.