Happy Hump Day! I hope all my fellow readers are having an amazing Wednesday. I’ve been busy as a little bee in a new flower field, but I wanted to take a few minutes and share this with you today. This is something that I personally struggle with all the time, but I am getting better at it. Today I want to talk about how important it is no matter what you are doing in your life to LOVE YOURSELF. You can in no way, shape or form help others or be there for others if you don’t love yourself.
A little history lesson for you. Many of you reading are probably asking well how do you not love yourself? It’s simple really do you do things for yourself and appreciate who you are to the fullest? Well I never did until recently. I went through twelve years of pure hell, in a very highly abusive relationship. A relationship that took a very bright and adventurous young lady and transformed her into a very weak and controlled nobody that was just glad to be alive the next day. I was told for years I was fat, ugly, useless, a bad mom, a bad wife, and so on. After years of hearing those things you begin to believe them, and that is one of the hardest things to ever recover from. The bruises will heal the mental anguish and pain not so much.
While I still have days that I struggle with the demons still left behind from those years of my life, I no longer let them control me. I removed the negativity from my life and replaced it with positivity, strength and desire. A little over five years ago I met my now current husband Tanner. Both of us were on bad paths at the time, but when we collided something amazing happened. Never in my life have I had someone look at me the way he looks at me, or tell me how beautiful I was, or how proud he was of me. He was positive encouragement to me from day one! He turned my life perspective around and made me realize if I dug deep enough I could find that ambitious person down inside that was silenced long ago.
So that is what I did. With his support and my constant work I started to find me again. The me I always wanted to be and the me I loved being at one point. So here I am today loving myself and loving my life and the direction that I am going. So now I am choosing to share that positivity with everyone and anyone that wants to soak it in and show you that you too are worth something and beautiful in your own way. Never again in my life will I allow another person to define who I am and who I will be.
Okay, now that I am down off my soap box let’s talk about what you can do to make sure you are loving yourself and taking care of yourself outside of just diet and exercise. I could probably spend hours listing things for you all but I want to hit a few that work for me. Some of these you may think well I can’t afford that so put those on a list and make those for special occasions. It does not take money to give yourself love and care. It also does not matter if you are a man or a women we all need this in our lives, so I will also list some things that men may like that my husband enjoys as well.
One of the most common items people turn toward for this type of gratification is beauty or spa type items. Both men and women can benefit from massage, sauna, acupuncture, pedicures, manicure, and even getting a hair cut. These are all things that are beneficial to your health and boost your mood because you feel better. Most of these can be costly though so you may want to use them for that special occasion I mentioned above. If you are married you and your spouse/partner could also give each other massages, an added benefit here is not only are you caring for yourself your also boosting your relationship.
So what if all that beauty stuff isn’t in your wheelhouse? Find something else! Self care and love doesn’t have to come from some service you are receiving it can be just a gratifying to complete something. On of my favorite things to do for myself is throw on some music, grab a canvas, and just paint. I let my emotions just run wild and in the end I get a great painting to sell or admire. Art for me is the way I choose to love myself. By getting out all those emotions I feel better, its almost like active meditating for me. For my husband it is building something. He does a lot of small building projects at home and when he is done he feels better because he had the opportunity to clear his mind while he worked on something. We both enjoy fishing and use this as well. Nothing like a day at the lake enjoying nature, a burger on the grill, and maybe a fish or two. As you can see there are many ways to love yourself.
I also recommend you start removing negativity from your life in anyway you can. Look up daily positive affirmations and read those. If someone is weighing you down cut them out of your life. Remind yourself every morning that you are amazing, you are great, you are loved, and you are worth it. Just saying those kind of positive things over and over can make such a big difference. I have actually even deleted people from my social media accounts because everything that posted was of hate or negativity and I just don’t accept that in my life anymore. I am choosing to be positive and choosing to be happy. I choose to love myself above all else!
If you have to start small. Look at yourself in the mirror and find one thing that you truly love about yourself. For example my eyes are dark brown and I love them they look soulful. So if you really like your eyes make that your daily praise and say I have beautiful eyes. Once you do that for a little while add in something else, then something else, and then before you know it you will be saying I love all of me. I may not be perfect but I love the me I am right now. This also doesn’t mean you can’t continue to work on you. I still need to lose around 60 pounds to be near my ideal weight according to a text book, but if I don’t love myself until I reach that point I am going to struggle to get there. Instead I choose to love where I am at and in turn I love knowing that I can get where I want to go. It all comes down to perspective and how you want to see things, as a note smaller goals are often more attainable that larger ones so I don’t even think in terms of 60 I think more in terms of 5-10.
The whole point of this blog is to get through to you how important you are and how loving yourself will bring so much reward to your life. My door is always open here at charming confessions. I don’t care if I know you are not, I will always take the time to talk to you and make you realize just how amazing you really are. Every single person is special and amazing in their own way, you just have to find yours. Until next time….love yourself and Keep Ketoing On!