life

I’m Only Human

Happy Thursday fellow readers. I hope everyone has been having a wonderful week. I unfortunately have let my madness consume me this week. Which brings me to today’s topic. I am only human.

When I write to my readers I want to be able to give you 100% of my attention and make sure that the words I am sharing with you are coming from not only my heart but also from my knowledge base, and this week I could not offer that to you. So I chose to be away a couple days and work on my head space. Sometimes life just grabs you and decides to throw you for a few loops, and those loops may be fun and exciting or plain out frightening. In my case this week it has been a jumble of the two. I have some exciting things coming, but I can’t quite share yet. I’ve also had a lot of stressful and bad things going on as well. All of that all at once and my body feels like I have been in a blender for a few days.

I am proud to say that for the first time in a very long time I did not turn to food to find comfort. Generally I would have dove off the deep end and binged until I was miserable. Instead I took on a fasting challenge and I stuck to it. I also didn’t veer from my keto/carnivore food items. I am glad I stuck to my guns on this because as much as stress is a trigger for a binge for me I know that in the end it just makes me feel even worse in the long run. Then I end up feeling guilty and wanting to punish myself. So this time around I get a pat on the back for being strong.

With everything that was going on and the toll it took on my body I haven’t even had an opportunity to take in a yoga class. This actually makes me sad as I was finding my way into something that my body was loving and it was opening up to thinking more deeply and more clearly. So I plan to get back on that horse as soon as possible. I feel that the further I dive into my yoga experience the more open I will be and the more I will be better equipped to handle weeks like these.

This week has also been a testament to how important it is to surround yourself by positivity as much as you can. I don’t have a close circle of friends that I can turn to always for support, so by seeing others successes I am able to use that as a fuel to realize that my struggle is temporary and there is a bright light at the other side. I just have to keep pushing toward that and never give up. I will never get were I want to be if I give up.

So I ask you all to forgive me for my absence and know that I have new material up and coming. Sometimes we just need a break to be human and I needed that this week. I needed to be vulnerable and deal with my head space so that I could come back and give you all 100% of what you deserve. So until next time …. What’s your confession?

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Yes You Can!

Happy Thursday fellow readers! So I have seen a lot of talk in the last few weeks about individuals saying your are doing great, but I can’t do that. I am hearing an abundance of can’t instead of yes. I use to be in that same group, but not anymore so I wanted a chance to talk to you about changing your outlook on things.

First, how do you know you can’t? Do you really have a legitimate reason to say you can’t or are you saying that because someone else put that in your head. Very few people actually have a legitimate reason to utter the word I can’t. The real and honest truth is your being reserved and you won’t. Something or someone is holding you back and it saddens me to think you are living that way. You need to take control of your life and instead of saying can’t how about saying I will try, and then progress even further and say I WILL DO IT!

Believe me when I tell you I was a leader of the I can’t club at one point in my life. I felt that everything I enjoyed I couldn’t do because I didn’t know how to do it or I didn’t know how to fit it into my life. I can’t sell a painting because who would buy it? I can’t write a blog who would read it? I can’t write a book! I can’t inspire others! All of these went in circles in my head constantly. All of these things are things that I believe in and things I have a passion for, but I was letting my worry of others opinions get in way of my happiness. I was letting people that I don’t even know weigh me down and keep me from my creativity and my passions.

So what changed? I woke up one day and realized I had so much negativity in my life that there was no way I could live my own life and ever be happy. So a day at a time I started looking for positivity and over the past few years of my life I have found some great people that inspire me to be me and chase after what I want. I now have the blog I have always wanted. I have put my paintings out there for the world to see and purchase. I have started a book. I have started taking steps to do what I love and teach what I believe in to inspire others. Am I making millions and rich from all of this, to be honest I haven’t made a dime, but I am so happy with what I am doing! I love sharing me with anyone and everyone. I enjoy being a positive step in the right direction for myself. I enjoy the simple things in life all thanks to the smallest changes. I’m thankful to be alive and be happy.

To tell yourself you can’t is plain and simple bullshit! I’m sorry for my language but that it how I feel about it. I will never tell myself that I can’t again. I may try and fail, and I may discover thing that are not for me but I will never not try! I can do what I want because I believe in me and who I am and what I want. If someone else doesn’t believe in me then I won’t let them be a part of my life. I refuse to allow negativity in, and when it tries to creep in anyway I take time to refocus and restart, because I don’t want to carry that with me.

Start small if you have to, but promise yourself your start trying and saying I will and eliminate the I can’t from your life. A great rule of thumb is eliminate the word from your vocabulary completely. If you really have to say no to something don’t say I can’t do that, instead try saying not today but how about next week. Then you didn’t say you couldn’t you just made it clear it didn’t work in your life at the moment but you also committed to doing it in the near future. That doesn’t mean keep putting it off either, remember we are never promised a tomorrow!

I can, YOU CAN, we all can! Remember that and remind yourself that every single day, and until next time…..Keep Ketoing On!

Weight Loss is Only Half The Journey

I am beyond proud of myself for the determination that I have had to change my way of eating and that it has led me fortunately to weight loss that I without a doubt needed. I feel better now than I have for years, and the great part is I’m not even quite half way through my weight loss journey. There is so much more to health though than just the weight loss. Each and everyday I have to try and focus on the other things and figure out how to motivate myself towards the success that I so desire.

Struggle number one for me now is getting into a rhythm with working out and getting into better physical shape. Now, I have no desire to ever become some superstar athlete that runs in triathlons, or a super body builder. All I desire is to keep my muscles in working order and improve my physical well being. I know that I can more than likely achieve this by simply walking thirty minutes a day 3 or 4 times a week, but I somehow always manage to derail myself.

I get focused, I get amped up, I do great for a couple weeks, and then I let life take control and I miss my goal and targets for a couple weeks. It is like ebb and flow of the tides of the ocean. So I constantly search for a way to inspire myself and reach a point of not fighting my goals but wanting to reach them and exceed them. I know eventually I will find something that inspires me and I want turn back once I find it, but until then I know my journey is far from over. My journey is one of weight loss, fitness and spiritual discovery and I have only began to discover the genesis of the true me!

Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia Oh My!

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First and foremost let me start this article by saying I am not in any way a medical professional. I have no training in mental health and I am solely sharing with you a journey that I have been through and what has helped me. If you are experiencing signs or symptoms of depression you should immediately seek out medical/professional support.

I am fairly certain my battle with anxiety, depression and insomnia started around the age of 15. I always have been a perfectionist, and around that age I began struggling to keep up my perfection. By the time I was 16 I was in and out of doctor offices and was finally diagnosed with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). So that is what I assumed was my problem. So I learned to live with it and moved on with things. Fast forward five years and my IBS had now turned into panic attacks, periods of lethargy accompanied by lack of desire, and horrible numerous other stomach problems. As a mom of 3 stuck in an abusive relationship with major financial problems I found myself at a breaking point. So I turned to a doctor who started testing me and diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. Then I began the spiral down the rabbit hole of medication after medication.

After numerous medications and feeling like a zombie most of the time in 2011 I decided no more and stopped all my meds cold turkey. Let me tell you that was one of the stupidest things I have ever done. Withdrawal is a serious thing to mess with, but I did make it through for over two years with no meds, but an uproar in stomach issues persisted again. By 2014, after ending my marriage and going through many changes I found myself back in the pit of despair and back chasing the pharmaceutical train. I finally found a doctor that would listen and finally got on meds that actually allowed me to function, but at a price of some not so nice side effects such as days without sleep. So I basically trained myself to become an insomniac. Any night that I got more than 2 hours of sleep I saw as an achievement.

So with drugs running my life and sleep on a permanent vacation I decided for myself that there had to be something to help me besides this hell I was walking in. So I turned to therapy and let me tell you it was a huge help, but it is not cheap so I couldn’t go as often as needed. Second I found a doctor who is more prone to prescribing holistic approaches to issues rather than a prescription pad. Third I discovered that I have a genetic mutation that directly effects mood and mental health. Lastly I discovered the keto diet.

Once I put all those things together and started making changes, my body and my mind both started to clear. I started to get more sleep, and within a couple months I was no longer on medication to make me go to sleep. I now get 7-8 hours of sleep a night and wake up refreshed. I was put on a supplement that is all natural to help my genetic mutation and within a month of starting that it was like a fog lifted. Four months in to all the changes and I know longer needed one of my stomach meds. Six months in and I no longer need a prescription acid reducer. Almost eight months in and I am finally being weened off my final prescription medication for anxiety and depression. I feel like I am coming to life for the first time in a long time. I actually am beginning to enjoy life!

So am I 100% cure? Absolutely not! I still have days I battle demons , and nights that I don’t sleep. The difference if I have learned how to deal with it and cope better and I’m not afraid to admit that to admit that I have these issues and will always battle them. I’m finding me all over again and so far I like what I am finding.